R.N.!?

I got accepted into the nursing program. I received the acceptance letter today. Classes start in January. It is REALLY hard to get into the program at SPC. I am not sure what to do, but I have to decide fairly quickly (by August 15th). I am super scared to do it. I dropped out of nursing school when I was 21 because it was too hard. I also don't want to leave Ryan. I LOVE being a SAHM. I also have ALWAYS wanted to be a nurse. It has been a lifelong dream. I don't know what God has planned for us. I am not totally sure if He wants me to do this. I do know before I opened the letter I knew I would be disappointed if it had not been an acceptance letter and that I would be excited and confused if it was. If I could map out my life I would have two dozen kids, a big house with a lot of land in the country, I would home school our kids, they would love the Lord with all their hearts, my marriage would be strong (it is now), we would travel and I would be near all of our family and friends. So, does nursing fit into this if I could plan my life? Well yes and no. If I ever had to go back to work, I would only want to be a nurse. If I had to go back to some other job, I would, but it would not ever be exactly the job I would want. Could I see myself with a ton of kids and working two days a week or something and still being a SAHM, home schooling and having the best of both worlds? Yes, I think so. If we did have a ton of kids, we would probably need some extra income any way and RNs make GREAT money. Maybe God will bless us with Ryan and no other kids and I will be a full-time nurse or maybe not. Maybe we will have just one more kid and I will still just work part-time. I guess I could come up with a million scenarios, but I just don't know what will happen....along with the rest of the world! I am scared to death to pursue this dream. Nursing school is HARD! BUT I envy every RN out there. How do I come up with a decision? I really need the Lord to tell me what to do, and I definitely need the "yes, do it" or "no, don't" literally spelled out for me and maybe smack me in the face with the answer, because my own feelings are getting in the way from hearing what He has to say. But, yah, I should maybe celebrate getting into something that is really hard to get into......

Miami

We were so worried how Ryan would do in the car down to Miami and back in one one day - that's 10 hours!!!! Well, he did great on the way down and great on the way back, however, he did not do so well at the baseball game. O yah, let me back up. My FIL and SIL Hillary are visiting us from CO and CA. They got here on Friday. Yesterday we went to Miami to see the Cubs play. They are die hard fans. Any way, we got to the stadium early and walked around and Ryan was doing great. He got hungry and it took a while for me to find a place where I felt comfortable nursing him, but God opened up a table for me to feed him. Then we got back to our seats and the game started. Ryan started screaming. Every time fans started yelling and cheering, a look of terror would come over his face because all the noise was scaring him so bad and then he would start screaming. I let this go on for about 5 minutes before I walked him up to the concession area and tried to find some quiet places to calm him down. I went into a store for a bit and then stood out by an information desk. They said I could go into the first aid room and sit on the couches in the AC. The paramedics in there said I could go into another room, keep the lights turned off and lay down on the stretchers with Ryan. I said no thanks. Ryan calmed down and fell asleep and then I got back up and walked in front of the info desk again to stand in front of the fans and look at the game on TV. I was feeling so horrible for Ryan and resigned myself to the fact that I would probably be standing there for the next 3 hours because no way was I going to subject him to that frightening experience again. Well, the guy behind the info desk said he could take me up to the club level and I could sit in a big comfy chair in the AC and watch the game on the big screen. I quickly got Sean from his seat and the guy took us up a service elevator and into the club level seating. My FIL and SIL decided to stay in the seats we paid for. So for the rest of the game we got to stay in nice chairs and watch the game out of the heat and noise and Ryan was so much better. He ate and took a very long nap. Unfortunately, we couldn't be with the rest of the family and Sean had to watch the game on a TV instead of outside live, but anything for our son and it definitely was a hookup! Gosh, I started crying I felt so bad for my little man. It sounds like such a little thing, but if you could have seen how scared he was and the looks on his face, it was heart breaking! O and on the way up to the club level, we ran into one of the real Village People (the Indian) because they were performing after the show - ha! Too funny!

I just have to say God was really looking out for us because I was feeling so hopeless not knowing what to do for my son and he just opened a door for us and took care of us!

Here are the pics before going up to the club level.






We got back around 3:30 this morning and we are all just trying to wake up now!

Ryan's getting so BIG.......sort of

So yesterday marked Ryan turning 3 months old. This time has flown by at lightning speed! I can't believe it. Every parent out there that has told me the greatest advice they can give is "enjoy every moment because it goes so quickly" certainly wasn't an exaggeration. Today, I am packing away all of his newborn clothes. Yes, that's right I said NEWBORN! This little guy STILL fits in all his newborn stuff. Well, I shouldn't say ALL because there have been some things that I put in storage boxes a while ago, but 90% of his stuff still fits the little bugger. So now he is on to his 0-3 month stuff! While he amazingly is already 3 months old, the super long, little chubbers can still fit his self into newbie stuff. Maybe he isn't ready to grow up so fast either! But alas, he is passing on his very first outfits to a (hopeful) sibling. :)

Lately

Dad's party turned out to be a lot of fun, except for our annoying parking situation. We don't have a place for guests to park, so they had to park up at Walgreen's and be shuttled here or walk here. Any way, Dad really enjoyed it; we had yummy food and he loved the decorations. I was just happy I could make his birthday special.

Friday night Ryan went to his first kid's birthday party. Our friends Justin and Autumn's son Jayden turned 3. We had pizza and cake. Ryan even got a goody bag full of tootsie rolls and Play-Doh and fruit snacks. :)

Saturday, my aunt and I went to Babies R Us. They had booths setup for various things. We went to learn infant CPR and the Heimlich. I also bought a few things for Ry. He got a little activity gym and I got some paci wipes (very handy) and a wipes case and I FINALLY got a nursing wrap.

Me and sean (with Ryan) went out for Thai/sushi Saturday night.

Yesterday at church, Ryan did pretty well until the end when he started to get fussy. I actually put him in the nursery for about 10 minutes. This was the very first time!!!! It was extremely hard and I almost cried....and it was only 10 minutes! I guess I have to start somewhere. I just can't seem to leave him with anyone yet. Our friend Barbi was in the nursery so that also made it a bit easier. After service we had a potluck. We made Death by Chocolate. :)

For our date day (yes date day Ryan comes too!) we went to IKEA. We ate there, which seems a little strange to eat at a furniture store. Their prices are pretty reasonable and they have cute stuff, really modern and not exactly how I decorate, but still cute. Ryan got EXTREMELY fussy at one point and I about lost it. I had one of those mommy breakdown moments, which I know only stresses him out more. He eventually stopped and fell asleep.

Last night we rented He's Just Not That Into You and had fruit smoothies followed by white Russians and an episode of Castle on Hulu. Good times. :)

I have to give the little man a bath and get myself in the shower. And yes I don't have much of a life because I am really looking forward to The Bachelorette tonight!

1st swim

Sean was off from work yesterday and we spent the day at Dad's. Sean and Dad worked on the house and I hung out with the baby and did some scrap booking.... BUT the highlight of the day was taking Ryan in the pool for the very first time. He looked so stinkn cute in his new swim trunks and red shades! He enjoyed the pool, too.






We had youth group last night and one of the girls was having some problems. I took her outside and talked to her (more like rambling). She wouldn't tell exactly me what was wrong, but hopefully I helped her. It is hard communicating with teens. I just pray that I said the right things and that I helped her out.

Today is Dad's birthday and we are having a party for him here tonight with the family. So I am busy today decorating and cooking and getting the house ready. Tuesday was my day at Target, Michael's, Dillard's, the $1 store with stops at the bank and 2 Men in between to get ready for the party. Through all those errands, Ryan did awesome!

Letter

I received this letter from my aunt after my grandma (Weesie) died. I have been having a hard time for a long time. I don't think I want to go in detail because I would be here all day trying to go through it all and explain it, so I will just say I screamed out to the Lord today to help me (as I do everyday) and a bit later the Holy Spirit spoke to me and told me to go through one of the first scrap books that I ever made a few years ago. The first page I turned to was this letter.

My dearest most precious Hettie:

I am going to speak to you as an adult now and no longer as a child. You have become a beautiful young lady and stand at the threshold of entering into a completely new phase of your life. As you enter into young womanhood there is so much learning and so many choices to be made. God ordained it for the youth to have Godly instruction to bring them through and to make their choices based on God's word. Remember as a small child how you received Jesus into your heart. Are you talking to Him and asking for direction in your life? Are you learning of His ways and reading His word. Remember, He promised never to leave you or forsake you. He says you can be an overcomer, but the choice is always yours. So please my darling Hettie always remember that love conquers all, that love is Christ and in His love come peace and joy and wisdom. A beautiful future awaits you if you make Godly choices. Save yourself for that right man. Be kind, gentle, courteous, show mercy and respect for all. As you walk through the door into adulthood please seek God's wisdom. He is there for you if you will only seek Him. I Love you. Weesie, your loving Grandmother

I can only say God is amazing and this alone helps me in so many ways. It has been months, no years, since I have actually felt at peace and happy. I wanted to share it.

I miss Weesie so much and I wish I would have gotten this from her when she wrote it. I wonder why she hung on to it for so long and never gave it to me. I guess it doesn't matter. I got it when I needed it. I wish I could tell her how much it means to me and how much it has helped me overcome years of sadness, all in a one page letter. Maybe she does know. Maybe she is watching and listening to me right now. Either way, thank you Jesus and thank you Weesie.

And then it was Monday

Sean met me at the mall after he got off work on Saturday. I had gone to use my gift certificate to Hollister from my in-laws for my BD. That store is not very stroller friendly! The aisles are extremely narrow in there, there is a step up to even get into the store and there was just stuff everywhere. I did manage to find some cute things, though, and Ryan was very good. We got Starbuck's and walked around a bit. I was in EXTREME pain wearing new heels that gave me numerous blisters. Now I know why I live in flops. Maybe I broke them in and they will be a little better next time because they are super cute.

We went to the zoo yesterday for $5 zoo days, normally it's $20 a person so yah it was a pretty good deal. We had a good time, only got to see about half of the zoo because it started to rain, Ryan got hungry and then they closed, but hey for $5 it was worth it. It was really crowded, but we expected that because of the deal.





Ryan enjoying the zoo








We got to feed the giraffes! I got to pet him, too, but he did not like that, nor, did I realize, was I supposed to, as per the sign we read after the fact.