Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Gratefulness and His Will

As I laid in bed last night and this morning, feeling grieved in my spirit and emotionally drained, two things came to me.  One, is gratefulness, which is perfect for this holiday season any way.  God has blessed us with so many little things and so many big things, as well.  God is good - ALL THE TIME.  In the BAD.  And in the GOOD.  And I really do have so much to be grateful for:  Jesus, salvation, His word, Heaven, prayer, His guidance and protection, health, my family, friends, USA, church, TN, new baby, my job, food, clothing, shelter, freedom, safety, and on and on I could go. 

The second thing that came to my mind is God's timing.  His will.  His guidance.  His ways.  All above mine.  All higher than mine.  My mind has been consumed with the who's, what's, when's, why's, and how's.  And when I'm not thinking about it all, then I'm researching and looking.  On the Internet.  In the paper.  On street signs.  You name it.  You see, it is NOT my timing or my ways or what I think is best or MY plans.  And I CANNOT do it without Him.  I'm not smart enough to figure this out on my own.

And my thoughts were confirmed because as I meditated and prayed, I thought about how while we would be cleaning the house today, I would be listening to Dr. Charles Stanley, as I do every week while cleaning.  And I was thinking about how I really hoped his two messages would be made just for me.  And do you know what?  One was on God's will and the other one was on gratefulness!!  Don't you LOVE how God does these sorts of things.  Oh how He LOVES us so. 

Sean has not gotten any job offers, only rejections.  He finally heard about the last two yesterday, which were both no's.  We aren't waiting for any more answers right now.  How discouraging right?!  It's been months and months of waiting for answers.  Hopefully YES answers. 

The house we rent is back on the market.  I can see the FOR SALE sign glaring at me through our window.  So, we will be showing the home and waiting to see what happens, as we did for all of 2014.  I WANT to find a new place and move out of here NOW so we don't have to do that again.  But the LORD whispers wait.  Ever so softly.  Besides, where would we find the money to move? 

Which brings me to THAT topic.  MONEY.  I can look at it as we don't have hardly any OR I can remember how truly BLESSED we are and that he will take care of us and that it's OK to rely on Him.

We had, had OUR GREAT BIG plan.  Come December, Sean is graduating, he will be starting a new job, we will be moving, and we will be having a new baby.  And we thought we prepared ourselves for what could be some real major stressors otherwise.  And yes, Sean is graduating and yes we are having a baby, but the rest of it has become known as PLAN B. 

And in PLAN B there really are no plans.  Yes, I did ask my job if I could switch from 16 hours a week to 32 hours a week once I get back from maternity leave, which most likely I can.  That's if Sean doesn't have a job by then.  And yes, Sean still will be looking.  And in the meantime, he probably will try to find a little something to bring in more money, like delivering newspapers or something.  And I did email my supervisor to see if I could possibly start looking towards doing my job at home after baby arrives.  But we know the above is TENTATIVE at best.  We know priority #1 is making sure our family is cared for.........through Jesus! We will focus on making sure we have our bills paid, our tummies are full, and we are warm and safe. 

And in PLAN B we stay here in this house and we remember to be grateful for the shelter the Lord has provided.  In plan B, we hope this house sells for the owners and we cross that bridge when we come to it.  We may be here until then or we may not.  AND in plan B, I stay off Craig's List searching for our next home (which is fun for me!).

Sean and I do not know what is going to happen or when it's going to happen or why it hasn't happened.  But we do know God loves us.  We do know we fervently pray for his will to be done.  And we do know we need to be grateful.  Patient.  Grateful.  Patient.  Living in the moment and soaking up all of God's mercy and grace. 

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