Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Pointers from Dr Charles Stanley on Disciplining Children

As I work on growing in the Lord and living by the spirit, not by the flesh, I have been trying to immerse myself in God's word.  I DVR Enjoying Everyday Life with Joyce Meyer, In Touch with Dr. Charles Stanley, 700 Club, and Joel Osteen.  I really enjoy each show and feel I have gained much wisdom and knowledge.   Any way, Dr. Charles Stanley had some great tips on disciplining children.  I really feel I need to learn more in this area and just got the a new book called Shepherding a Child's Heart (I haven't started it yet).  I thought I would share this from Dr. Stanley.

Proverbs 3:12 For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.

What breaks a child's spirit?
1.  Refusing to listen to the child.
2.  Disciplining without explanation of why the discipline is occurring.
3.  Ignoring the child's opinions and requests (children are people too!!).
4.  Making them feel helpless and hopeless.
5.  Making demeaning comparisons (why aren't you like so and so?).
6.  Using fearful words like always and never.
7.  Expressing misdirected anger (angry with someone or something else, but taking it out on the child).
8.  Criticizing the child's best efforts.
9.  Failing to be loving towards the child (in touch, word, compliments, approval).
10.  Failing to provide good things for them to look forward to (talk about good things). 

Correct Discipline:
1.  Check your motives.
2.  Carefully explain the reason for discipline.
3.  Use a loving tone of voice.
4.  Never discipline in anger.
5.  Keep your promises (if I tell Ryan he will go to timeout for hitting Hunter, but then I don't follow through).
6.  Share your regret (sorry I have to do this, I don't like to, but it is in God's word).
7.  Never strike with your hand or slap their face (use a switch or something).  We had been using our hands until we heard this and it made sense to us.  The Bible even talks about "the rod".  So, date night on Monday consisted of shopping at Lowe's to buy a paddle!!!!  lol Seriously.  :)
8.  Reassure them of your love.

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