Wednesday, August 5, 2009


I got accepted into the nursing program. I received the acceptance letter today. Classes start in January. It is REALLY hard to get into the program at SPC. I am not sure what to do, but I have to decide fairly quickly (by August 15th). I am super scared to do it. I dropped out of nursing school when I was 21 because it was too hard. I also don't want to leave Ryan. I LOVE being a SAHM. I also have ALWAYS wanted to be a nurse. It has been a lifelong dream. I don't know what God has planned for us. I am not totally sure if He wants me to do this. I do know before I opened the letter I knew I would be disappointed if it had not been an acceptance letter and that I would be excited and confused if it was. If I could map out my life I would have two dozen kids, a big house with a lot of land in the country, I would home school our kids, they would love the Lord with all their hearts, my marriage would be strong (it is now), we would travel and I would be near all of our family and friends. So, does nursing fit into this if I could plan my life? Well yes and no. If I ever had to go back to work, I would only want to be a nurse. If I had to go back to some other job, I would, but it would not ever be exactly the job I would want. Could I see myself with a ton of kids and working two days a week or something and still being a SAHM, home schooling and having the best of both worlds? Yes, I think so. If we did have a ton of kids, we would probably need some extra income any way and RNs make GREAT money. Maybe God will bless us with Ryan and no other kids and I will be a full-time nurse or maybe not. Maybe we will have just one more kid and I will still just work part-time. I guess I could come up with a million scenarios, but I just don't know what will happen....along with the rest of the world! I am scared to death to pursue this dream. Nursing school is HARD! BUT I envy every RN out there. How do I come up with a decision? I really need the Lord to tell me what to do, and I definitely need the "yes, do it" or "no, don't" literally spelled out for me and maybe smack me in the face with the answer, because my own feelings are getting in the way from hearing what He has to say. But, yah, I should maybe celebrate getting into something that is really hard to get into......

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