Thursday, August 21, 2008

Signs From God?

I was a little late for my OB-GYN app yesterday b/c school is back in session and I guess Dunedin elementary and middle don't start until 10 am! What do working parents do? I don't get it. That seems awfully late to start school every morning. What if parents have to be at work by 8 or 9, which is a normal start time for jobs?

Any way, back to what I started to say, Dr. Paolillo said that everything looked and felt good. I had a repeat PAP, which I should receive results back within 7- 10 days. He said Sean and I had 2 options. We could continue to use condoms until the PAP results come back in or we could stop using protection and start trying to conceive again. If the PAP comes back normal, then great news, it's baby making time! :O) I would just have to have another repeat PAP in December. If PAP comes back abnormal, then really bad news. this would mean more biopsies and procedures and probably no baby making time. We are hoping and praying for normal test results. He said if we conceived before the test results and then on top of that if they were to come back abnormal, then we would be in big trouble b/c we wouldn't be able to move ahead with more biopsies and procedures, but it is probably pretty unlikely that we will get pregnant in 7-10 days and have abnormal test results. Possible, but unlikely. After much prayer and concrete signs from God (I'll explain in a moment), we decided to stop using protection and start trying to get pregnant.....again. I am very nervous about the results, but I am trying to be optimistic. Oh, so back to God really talking to me yesterday. I was pretty upset after leaving the app b/c I don't want more bad news with the results and Sean and I really want to get pregnant. Well, I am on my way to work trying to figure out our best decision on whether we should start trying again, when a BIG van drives past me that says in huge letters (like not a bumper sticker, but the whole van was painted) "ARE YOU PREGNANT?". Then, I arrive to work a little early and I am praying and trying to collect myself, really wanting to cry, and in a bad mood. I bow my head to pray and take some deep breaths when I notice on my scrub top "new mom". Oh come on, either cruel jokes are being played on me or God is shouting at me that it is time to welcome a little one into me and Sean's life. Here's to hoping it is the latter and not the former.

4 comments:

Becca said...

Awww yay! I'm glad the results we good so far and hopefully you guys will be good to do the baby dance! I can understand where you're coming from with the frustration though. I had like 9 people tell me that 'they're pregnant!' while we were TTC. Hopefully you guys will have an easy go at it though and be all fat and crabby like me in no time!! :)

Hettie Brewner said...

Thanks babe! I am not going to stress or worry about it b/c that will make things even more difficult! I am not going to try to rush anything. It is all in God's hands.......but I am happy to give him a little nudge! HA!

sbrewner said...

We will be there and it is in His hands. He has a plan for us, I know he doesn't want us to get discouraged. We have to keep trying and we will see the results as long as we believe in his way. We are both frustrated and that is something we cannot be. He will deliver for us on His time. We just need to keep trying. I love you.

Hettie Brewner said...

Thanks baby! I know, we just have to practice patience and be content on where we are every moment and just enjoy every moment we have. I love you too!