RIP

Yesterday after el job-o, we volunteered at the Humane Society and then came home and had a much needed talk. I need to look to the present, not the past or future and just be where I am now. Stop regretting things and what- iffing things. We also talked about why we fell in love with each other in the first place and how some of those qualities should remain within both of us. Then we went and had a couple of beers in downtown Dunedin with the dog (she had H2O).

I volunteered/worked in the vet clinic today. I am feeling so much more comfortable there now and absolutely love the people. I am able to hold conversations now and ask questions without getting so nervous. I also saw a dead cat. It had been euthanized. I did not see that part, but I saw the aftermath. That was sad. Other than that, I shadowed and observed, chatted and gabbed and increased my wealth of animal knowledge. I am learning a ton and it's really fun. Did you like the rhyme?

I am going to get a mani/pedi now and clean the house and workout.

Oh yah. Sean and I saw the saddest thing yesterday. There was a male duck on the side of the road guarding a dead female duck. He just sat there. He looked so distraught. She must have been hit by a car. We pulled over, but there was really nothing we could do. Every now and then, he would waddle over to her and nudge her, as if trying to wake her up. Then dissatisfied that she did not respond, he would return to his spot in front of her. It was totally heartbreaking.

Quitters

OK, so I am about to make the dreaded phone to Karen in the volunteer office at Mease Hospital to tell her that Sean and I will no longer be able to work in the gift shop nor will Sean be helping out with CareLift. I have been dreading this and I feel really bad about it, but we just don't really see how we will continue to fit it in our busy schedules. We gave it our best college try! I am sad about it and they really need help around there, but it just can't happen anymore. Wish me luck.

Do I still have to shower?

After all the fun Sean and I have been having, going out and doing numerous things, well today I just realized that I haven't left the house since Tuesday..... and now it is Thursday. Get out much? Let's just say work has been busy. Therefore, I have nothing else to talk about, so I will just post pics of our pup and videos that don't play.

OOOPPP, I take it back, the video is playing now.

Allie

Well, I tried to post a cute video of Al, but I can't figure out how to make it play. Any way, this still picture of her is very flattering (wow - spooky).

Pics

Stork and Ernie - these birds are lasting entertainment around this casa

I just realized I didn't even have any pics up of my pup.
See the nasty carpet. Then see the wood floor. Things are coming along thanks to my gorgeous husband.

Wanted

There seems to be a trend today! We are wanted by people.... or people are just needy.

1. We have a job interview at another vet clinic tomorrow. Good, but not getting my hopes up about it.
2. Church called and wants us to step up and head up the nursery and also come in tomorrow for a meeting and also get a list of idea/wants/needs together for the nursery.
3. Mease Hospital wants to know when we are coming back to volunteer b/c we took the month of May off, are we coming in for June?

Is God trying to tell us something? Are we enjoying a little too much spare time? Are we getting lazy and useless? I tend to think not. How ready are we to add more stuff onto our already busy schedules? Just because we have had some extra time lately to do fun things does not mean we need to add things to do in our lives, nor does it mean we will find an extra hour or two for fun tomorrow, the next day or next or next or next. This usually doesn't happen for us and yep we have been taking advantage of it.

P.S. This was only written in fun. If anyone from New Beginnings, the animal clinic or Mease gets on this blog and reads this post, I kid, I kid.

Oh and I heard a commercial for a show on Discovery Health (Untold Stories of the ER) about a woman who EATS 6 rolls of TP a day and the docs are wondering if that is the cause of her abdominal pain!!!!!!!! Huh?

Mom and Dad (2's) dog Sally died. You all are in our thoughts and prayers. Sorry for your loss. Miss you. Love you!

At least the work week starts on a Tuesday

Yep, back to work today after a wonderful long weekend. We ended on a high note. We went to Busch Gardens yesterday. Again, the longest we had to wait in line was maybe half an hour for Sheikra (the scariest ride ever!) We heart Busch Gardens!

My grandparents had the family over for a cookout in honor of Memorial Day, which brought up a very good question. What constitutes a veteran? Sean was not sure, neither was I. I thought it was someone who was enlisted during time of war, whether they fought in the war or not. Sean said that made sense, but then we couldn't figure out why the VFW will only accept veterans who have fought in war. That is pretty silly that we don't even know.

I will leave with this. What makes a parent think it is okay to bring their 10 year old daughter to Busch Gardens (or any public place for that matter) wearing daisy dukes and dancing like a stripper while standing in line for the rides. Totally inappropriate!

Ahoy Matey!

Robin's boyfriend, Robin, me, Sean - Pub Crawl
Island Day
Nightfall
My one and only



I have to say Sean and I have been doing a lot of fun things lately! It is nice, since we are usually boring, predictable, repetitive and scheduled. I enjoy the freedom of relaxing and spending our time together. I know most days will be filled with responsibilities, chores, errands, etc., but man have we been taking advantage of our free time. I could easily get used to this. I need to find a way to make money and get my degrees without working and going to school. Any suggestions? Really though, I enjoy the un- fun sides of life too. I have decided that yes I have to take care of things, but I really am going to be picky and choosey with my time b/c life is way too short and is certainly good when doing things I appreciate and enjoy doing.

After watching the nursery babes, we went out on the boat with our friends and neighbors Jeff and Dee. They have a really nice boat. We went to an island near Anclote Key in Tarpon. There were a ton of people out there. We swam, saw dolphins, rode around on a dingy, cooked out, meet lots of people, went out to the Gulf of Mexico, saw a naked man (not the highlight of the day I assure you!), walked the island and collected seashells, and just generally had a good ol time. I miss my boating days. Being from here, it is like second nature to me. And in GA we were always out on the lake. But for Sean, this was like his first time (besides military stuff) being out on a boat. He liked it so much that he wants to live on a boat. We will pray about that one. But we definitely had good times and I would be happy anywhere, so who knows maybe we will have an at sea address sometime in the future.

And who are you again?

After a morning filled with to- dos (homework, cleaning the house, Publix, Walgreen's, the bank), I got to do something nice for my husband. That doesn't happen often. I surprised him and took him to the cinema cafe to see Indiana Jones 4. Well, he wasn't that surprised. He was when I told him to get in the car, and he obliged to keeping his eyes closed for the duration of the ride with no peeking, but he said he could "feel" where the car was headed. So, the movie was really good. I only nodded off 3 or 4 times, which is really good for me since I cannot stay awake in a dark, cool room with a movie playing. As a matter of fact, if I sit in one place for longer than 20 minutes, my eyes get heavy. Maybe I am a borderline narcoleptic.

We visited new clients - 2 Yorkies and 1 cat (outdoor, did not actually meet) oh and the owners. We will be pet sitting for them for like 2 weeks. They were all very nice, cute dogs and it is going to be fun to help them out and spend time with their puppy dogs.

Sean and I then went down to Flanagan's in downtown Dunedin and meet up with Robin. I guess twice yearly the Dunedin High Guild holds a pub crawl. 5 dollars buys a ticket. Then we got 1 drink at Flanagan's, one at Dunedin Brewery and one at Chick-a-Boom Room. Not bad for $5. Sean and I were able to hang at the first 2 pubs, but didn't make the Boom. It was great to see Robin. It had been years.

On our way home, we ran into my stats teacher dining outside with some friends. Only problem was he recognized me and Sean and Sean and I recognized that we knew the face, but not the person, so it made for a very odd moment, since we stopped at their table and just stared at them, hoping to recall who the heck this person was, but to no avail. Well, then we walked away. We must have looked like idiots.

We might actually get to church on time this morning. Woo-Hoo!

Friday

The appointment went okay. Well, no, not really. I lie. It was not good, but who would think getting cryosurgery would be pleasant? We did not get the best of news, but Sean and I are keeping that private. Any way, the actual procedure went as good as it could go . It was a little painful. The aftermath is almost worse. I will not get into those details either. But, we gotta look on the positive side. At least they caught it and treated me before turning into something more serious, like the "C" word.

I spent about 4 hours at the vet clinic yesterday, which of course lifted my spirits somewhat since that is one of my favorite places to spend my free time these days (besides hanging with the hubby). The girls there are awesome (so is the vet)!

This morning, Rex and Schatzi's parents came to get them. It is definitely a lot more quiet around here and Allie looks depressed, we miss those 2 pups, but there will be less doody duty and we are $200 richer. They also brought me a really cool trinket from Hungary.

I am hoping today is much better than yesterday. Between the appointment, the bad news, being late for it, not being able to enjoy our walk with the dogs b/c we thought they were going to have a heat stroke, the pharmacy not having my prescription in stock, Florida drivers out in full force, my own inability to drive, being late to the vet clinic and then coming home to 59 faxes of work I had already done, so as to waste all my ink, paper and time sorting through it for free, suffice it to say yesterday stunk!

Hooray for a new day!

Greetings From Florida!

Nothing new in our neck in of the woods. Ran errands (Lowe's and Staples yesterday) and went to Capogna's with the grandparents and dad. Working this morning of course and getting ready to go to the doc to have the cryotherapy done. Oh joy.

Oh yeah, time to make you ask yourself why you don't live where we live. Mr. Beach just voted Caladesi Island (which is oh about 10 minutes down the road from us) #1 beach in the country. And that is even beating out Hawaii!!!!! Isn't it nice to know we live in paradise? Wish you were here!

Sign Us Up!

Let's see. We got a whole lotta stuff done yesterday. After work, we took grandma to the (I almost typed vet!) MD for a booty shot to make her knee feel better. Then we went to yet another animal clinic and filled out applications for kennel helpers. Next up, we became official VFW members. I know, it sounds like an old fogey thing, and honestly it is. Well, we were curious as to what goes on in these posts, so we visited our local #2550. I am not sure we saw anyone under the age of 70, but they were nice people and as I have said before, we need friends, we are desperate. SO, the head guy talked our ears off for a good 2 hours, but we got cake and Bud Light out of it (yummy combo). Any way, after all was said and done we gave them $55 to be members. 

Finally, we went to a foster parent class (for animals, not children). We will be foster parents for bottle babies (kittens). After we move out of Senor Padre's casa, we will also foster puppies, prego cats and cats and dogs that are recovering from injuries and/or emotional problems. We are thrilled! It benefits the Humane Society, the animals, me and Sean and my education for VT school!

After this day, we crashed!

PS: Why am I speaking in half Spanish?

P.P.S: Even more amazing, we got all this done while arguing all day. We're good!

Job, Dogs, Birthdays

God really works in mysterious ways. So, I get a phone call from the Mease Hospital volunteer coordinator saying that an ICU RN was looking for me. I had 1 convo with her about a year ago. Any way, I called her and she was wondering if I could hook her up with a medical transcription job b/c she just had a baby and wants to work from home. How ironic that I sit here complaining about my job and how I would do anything to be a vet tech and/or RN instead, and an RN would rather be doing what I'm doing. That's hilarious. SOOOOO, I am going to be thankful for where I am right now and take one day at a time. BTW, not sure how much I was able to help her, but she might have us babysit, yay!

I spent about 3 hours at the vet clinic yesterday, mostly shadowing while VTs and the vet went room to room seeing patients. There was a 12 year old Weimaraner with a mouth tumor. Poor thing. He could barely walk and he was just old! I was trying to picture what Allie would be like at that age. She will probably finally behave on her leash and not be so hyper! So, I am up to 14 volunteer hours out of 80. A cat had some teeth pulled, dog with fleas, shots, blood work, good stuff like that.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTA! What is with all these May BDs - Jan, Chloe, Fritz, Nicole, Christa, Faye???? I guess August was a good month for some.

Mrs. Brightside

After work yesterday, we spent some time with the cats at the Humane Society. Then we went over to Post Apartments Rocky Point to take a peek at their floor plans. Pretty nice. I always had good experiences with Post in Atl. We lived in 2 different complexes of theirs. They have huge pools, activities (parties), nice landscaping, etc. We really liked the ones we looked at yesterday and we have yet another backup plan if other things don't work out. The best part is the locale. On Courtney Campbell Cswy between Tampa and Clw. So, hey, if we don't get the house in Tarpon, then there is always the town homes in Clearwater, the apartments I just talked about or there are 2 other houses in Tarpon that we are interested in. Can we say prepared?

Now if I could only be content in my job right now. I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety and stress. I guess I am just not as happy as I used to be. I mean there are definite advantages to it and things I really do still like, but I am ready to work in a vet clinic. I know I just have to be patient. God will move me when he feels it is time. Maybe I will be in the same place for more years or maybe months or weeks. Who knows. But I gotta remain positive and look on the bright side of things. At least I am employed and getting paychecks and I get to work from home and spend time with my hubby and I make good money and I like my boss and coworkers. Down side is I am bored and need a change. But God does not agree at this point. I need to be thankful. And pray lots! It could just be a valley and I will find the peak again soon. I know most people have ups and downs, that is probably all it is.

B is for Busch Gardens

We really had a fabulous day yesterday! After church, we went to Busch Gardens. It really was a perfect day: No lines, not too hot and we got to see Jacarandans. Awesome. I got soaked on the raft ride. Any way, we just had a whole lotta fun. I still don't really like Cheetah Chase, but Sean sure does like to get me on there. It is a kid ride, but I am telling ya, it is scary. We haven't had a weekend full of just fun in a long time. Usually we are doing responsible stuff. Which is not to say that it is un- fun, but it was nice to get a break. And we spent like no money. Nice. The dogs had fun with us gone, too, since they were sleeping on the bed on all our clean clothes and the couch, which they are not allowed to do either! Stinkers.

We also got very exciting news. Our friends in Indiana Joel and Becca are expecting their 1st child. We are so happy for them. Love you guys!!!!!!!!!

Short and Sweet

Saturday:
1. See pics I posted.
2. Veterans picnic at Bay Pines VA. Free food - good. Diseased sandwiches - bad. Spit it back in napkin, feel queasy and spend time in bathroom. Good music, beautiful day, good people, free counseling session, free hat (see hubby pic).
3. Madeira Bch : Insert money into meter. Walk to bch. Cue rain. Walk back to car. Get in car. Sun comes out. Go to John's Pass Village, walk around, see shops. Get a beer at The Hut. See pics.
4. Return home. Confusion over should we go for the town home or continue to try to get home in TS. Smart decision would be town home. Dream would be TS. Very tough to figure this stuff out. God, help pls?
5. Please, No autographs...... Sean and I on Fox news this morning b/c of the vet picnic. In background for 1/2 second.
6. Off 2 church. cu.

Saturday Fun!

John's Pass Village, Madeira Bch - The Hut
Hubby
Wifey
Nice View
dockside
Herbie
Aerial View
Mr. Tiki Mon

What I can do with my time when work doesn't get in my way! :O)

I didn't know that K-Mart actually has some cute stuff there. I know they used to not. They have moved up in the world of bargain shopping. Sean and I got bathing suits there and storage boxes to store all of our winter clothes. Like we really need winter clothes in one season (summer) Florida. Any way, I definitely have more room in the closets now.

We looked at a town home up the road from Dad's. Our agent had called with news that they are basically giving away these brand new homes. So, we were very hesitant to even go b/c we drive by them all the time and they have never done much for us, but let me tell you how surprised we were to see how nice they actually are. And the deals are fabulous, plus 6% closing costs paid. We looked at a 3 BR 2 Bath 1 car garage. It would be ready in Aug or Sept (that is when they would be done building it). We can also choose tons of upgrades to put on it. So any way, if something (God forbid) falls through with the TS house, well we have a pretty nice backup, hopefully #8 will still be available.

Afterwards, we went down to the Dunedin Historical Society and looked around. Pretty interesting stuff. Then we moseyed (sp?) on over to Bon Apetit and had a drink on their deck overlooking the water. I can never get sick of looking at the ocean and appreciating the beauty that God has given us.

This morning, we have already cleaned the house and taken the mutts for a walk in the rain. Now, off to Publix.

Shaved Cat

Day 3 at the vet clinic completed. 11 hours down. 69 to go. Yesterday, surgeries went much better (I mean for me). By the 4th one, I was totally relaxed. I don't think I will get nervous over it anymore. I just had to get used to it. So, I observed a dog neutering, another stone removal from a dog (like 6 BIG stones) and 2 cats spays. I got to clip and scrub one of the cats (i.e., shave the area where the surgery will be performed and sterilize the area). So that went well. I have so much fun there. Love it.

Now, my hubby and I get to start our weekend early, as I finished work at 8 a.m. this morning.

Have a great weekend!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Nic. I have no idea if she reads my blog, but hopefully she does. We have lost touch over the months, not sure why, but I think of her often and wonder how she is doing. I don't know what happened b/c we used to talk all the time! Almost daily. I do know that we all get busy and time slips by, but we have gone a couple of months without saying what's up. I miss her much. This seems to be the norm with my friendships these days. Again, not sure why. I know busy lives equal not much time to chat, but aren't people and relationships more important than work, errands and chores? I am not pointing any fingers, b/c it most certainly is a lot my fault. How come in middle and high school all we think about are friends and avoiding what little responsibility we had and as adults we become boring and stuffy and think about doing, not stopping and being? And hey friendships are supposed to equate to living longer. At this point, I better quit a couple of bad habits (like smoking and not always eating the most healthily - is that a word?). I am not bitter or angry, just disappointed and mad at myself for not being a better friend. Or maybe I just lost my girls, but they still have their girls. Hhhhmmm.

I sound poopie today. FYI: I am in a good mood. :P

Any way long story long.

HAPPY BDAY NIC!

My 20 Cents Worth (have u noticed there isn't a cent symbol on the keyboard?)

I am so thankful for our volunteer coordinator at the Humane Society. See, I have been stressing about how we would fit it in to our schedule to keep going there weekly since I am doing hours in the vet clinic and also with school starting back, BUT she is allowing us to be very flexible. We had a Friends of Felines (or as Uncle Steve thought I said - Friends of Sea Lions) meeting last night. We were able to talk to her afterwards and basically while I am doing the 80 vet clinic hours we can come in to see the cats Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays, Saturdays or Sundays each week. Yay, I know we can fit it in one of those days each week. Now, if we can only figure out what to do at the hospital. I doubt they can be that flexible with us, but we never know. We will have to talk to Karen the coordinator there at the end of this month.

I will leave with a couple of happiness tips:
1. Never have regrets.
2. Live in the moment.
3. Follow your dreams (don't just dream 'em, do 'em)
4. Being happy is in your control; it is a choice.
5. Happiness comes from the inside, not from the external world.
6. Positive thinking, no dwelling on the negative.

AND:
1. Laugh lots
2. Care deeply
3. Love generously
4. Speak kindly
5. Give often
6. Leave the rest to GOD!

Have a blessed day!

The Gory Tales

Surgery day was awesome! I got to observe one dog getting paplomas removed from his leg. The second surgery was a neuter and hernia repair on a 9 week old puppy and the 3rd surgery was gruesome! I think I might have gotten a little dizzy on this one. The other 2 did not phase me at all. The 3rd was stone removal from the bladder on a dog or should I say stones....like 20 or so. The bladder was sitting on the outside of the dogs tummy. Then the bladder was cut open and stones removed. This involved a whole lot of blood spewing everywhere, like all over the floor and table, even all over the doctor, which I was wiping off with paper towels. WOW! That was a lot. I knew I would not throw up, because I was hungry, but I was definitely a little wobbly. I think it was all in my head though b/c I expected to get a little shaky over surgery day, so of course I did. Now, I can't wait to go back again! Which will be Thursday. Not sure if I will be seeing surgeries that day or not, but either way I love going there to work. It is so exciting. I'm so happy! 8 hours down, 72 to go!

School started back yesterday. I am taking an online class. New Testament Survey. It sounds like it will be a good class, I will learn a lot and the teacher seems very nice.

We got our mom's day gifts yesterday and put them in the mail. Be on the look out mom 1 and mom 2. Sorry late! We are bad kids, I know.

Hee Hee

					May 12, 2008

Nada

Sean pretty much covered everything I was going to post this morning. Yesterday we took care of 5 babies in the church nursery, went to the Rays game with the grandparents, dad and Dave and then met the whole family at Capognas. That b it. I got nothing else.

WHAT MAKES MY MOM

1. Artist. Capturing images and turning them into masterpieces.
2. Beautiful woman inside and out.
3. Courageous. Single mother with a very limited income.
4. Dreamer. Hoping, wishing and always working towards fulfilling your dreams.
5. Enjoyment in her family, friends, art and travel.
6. France. A place you loved when you got to visit there (as did Weesie).
7. Gorgeous woman.
8. Hettie. I appreciate you more than words can ever express and love you more than you could ever know and miss you terribly so.
9. Idol. Yep, ur my idol!
10. Jokes. Oh how you can make me laugh. :O)
11. Kind heart and a kind soul.
12. Loving mother.
13. Mom: Happy Mother's Day!
14. Neat (un) : Ha! Never your strong suit! Why did I become such a Neat Nellie?
15. Openness with sharing your thoughts and feelings.
16. Personable: You're shy, but once you open up and get to know others, you are a true friend!
17. Queen. I used this word because it reminded me of Weesie. It is a fitting word for your mother. I know you miss her, especially today. I miss her, too.
18. Radiant: When you smile and when you are happy doing the things you love, you exude radiance.
19. Stability: Even in the most uncertain times, you gave me a stable home to grow up in.
20. Teacher. I know subbing was far from easy!
21. Urgent. Sean I need to get to Arizona urgently to see you and Mike and TC!
22. Voice. Till then, we can only hear your sweet voice. (grandma said we sounded exactly alike today).
23. Wacky. For sure! You are crazy wacky and that is something I don't think many mothers and daughters get to share. I used to be embarrassed by it, now I embrace it!
24. Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
25. Yellow: If I had to choose a color to describe you, yellow it would be.
26. Zebra. Just as unique as each zebra's stripes, so is my mama.

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HMD!!!!!!!!!!

No time to write now really. Off to church. I just wanted to say Happy Mother's Day! I love you mom.

Really not much else news any way. Got 6 adorable pairs of scrubs yesterday, went to Dunedin Brewery for a beer last night and saw the ad back in the paper for that vet clinic. That pretty sealed the deal on us NOT getting the job. That's okay. Wasn't meant for us. No biggie.

Mom: Get excited. I will be back on later (hopefully) to give you a nice little present. smile.

Love you mama!

Warning: My Cheeriness Is Highly Contagious!

Lots to talk about today. I think I would like to do this in list form. For some reason that sounds easier right now. Here it goes....

1. Thought: How come we have season passes, but we have only been to Busch Gardens 1 x? Are we really that busy that we cannot find some time to go for one day to ride the rides and have fun and utilize the fact that admission is FREE for the year?
2. Thought Part 2: Maybe we did not get the jobs at the vet clinic because, as my mom and Mike mentioned, as well as our mortgage broker, changing jobs before loan approval is not a good thing. I feel comforted knowing that. God was looking out for us!
3. We got to hand feed the Quaker parrots last night at Jeff and Dee's. Of course, I got the one that has not figured out how to eat from a dropper. Sean got the other 2 easy eaters.
4. Volunteer day 1 completed at the clinic. The vet techs and the vet are really nice there. I got to basically shadow them all and observe. I already learned a ton and it was only the first day. I am thrilled. I got to see blood taken from dogs, fecal samples, lab specimens, shots given and listen in/watch while the vet and vet tech were in with patients. It was really cool. I also learned a lot of puppy training tips. Monday = surgery day! YAY for me. Not so YAY for the recipient of the surgery.
5. I get to buy more scrubs today. 6 more pairs! Another YAY for me.
6. Sean yet again gives me a reason to believe that he has to be #1 all time best hubby. I gently pointed out that instead of playing golf with dad this morning, that he really should be working on the house. That sounds awful of me I know, but I am really feeling like we need to finish what we started here in preparation for our move. Plus the fact that there were no spots open for golf today. He was just going to go and see if he could take a no show spot. Any way, he stayed home and got a lot done. Thanks honey. I lovey you!

We are all (meaning Sean, the 3 dogs and I) having a fabulous weekend! Hope u r 2.

My Cup Is Half Full

We went over to visit the neighbors new birds. I think they have 12 and counting now. 3 of them are 4 week old babies that are being hand fed. They said we could have one for free when they are old enough. I am sure dad would not say yes to that one, but maybe we would be in our new house by then (that is if we get it!), especially since there were "puddles of dog piss on the wood floors that I haven't even paid for yet last night". Oopses. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it was Schatzi. Just a hunch. Any way, they also have a female bird named Baby Wayne (yes, real name) that we would love to have, too. She is such a cuddle bug (ahem, bird).

The fundraiser banquet to raise $600,000 for the church went went well and the food was a million times better than last time.

I am feeling wonderful today with a brand new outlook on things. I am glad I got my head straight and am back to feeling normal again. I was feeling really depressed, for numerous things that are not in my control and things that are not even worth getting upset over. There is a little message I received from a really big man: RRR - release, repent, repair. I think these three simple words can take on a very big meaning. I have already practiced it twice when I felt myself getting upset and, voila, I halted the ugliness that comes over me when I start to get all grumpy and nasty.

Anyhoo, time to spend some much needed QT with my hubby. Ciao!

Abnormal

We had our marriage class at church last night. Good as always.

I got a phone call from my OB-GYN today. The results came back abnormal, low grade cells. They want to do cryo treatment. They will freeze my cervix for five minutes. After that, I have to use a cream for 14 days and the abnormal cells will slough off. Oh joy. So my appointment is on May 23rd. I asked if this affected having kids. The lady said "no, we have people getting pregnant all the time". Well, ya, it is an OB office!!!!

I called the vet clinic today to follow up on our applications. She said they would call, that they are still doing interviews. It is starting to not sound so great for our chances, but maybe I will be pleasantly surprised.

I did get a call from another vet clinic that I can do my volunteer hours for. I have to work 80 hours in a clinic before I can apply for vet tech school. I will go in Mondays and Saturdays 4 hours each of those days. I start this Saturday. Yay, I get to wear scrubs! I might have to get another pair or two to be fashionable! wink wink

Today has been kinda crappie. Sean and I were arguing and I am just in a low mood. I guess b/c of the test results and more treatments and the vet assistant jobs not sounding so in our favor anymore. But what can I do? I gotta get out of this little slump I'm in. I'm ready to end this day and have a brand new fresh start on the day tomorrow morning.

R&R

The house is really shaping up. You wouldn't think so b/c it is still a complete wreck, but we have hardwood floors! In 2 rooms! YAY! Only 5 rooms to go. Sean is doing a fantastic job and is working really hard. I am proud of him.

The dogs aren't too happy about being trapped in the den all day while Sean is working, but they are dealing. Rex is weird. He won't really eat. He didn't eat at all yesterday. Today, Sean and I had to place each piece of his breakfast in his mouth and also his 2 bone a day regimen. What dog turns down treats? Actually, we were a little worried, but know that it is because he is shy and not used to being here yet. He is actually a really good dog and we are getting him to eat and drink so that's good, even if it is force feeding :O). The rest of the time he likes to hide under my feet, under our bed or under a table. He is funny though, when it is time to go for a walk, he is big man around the neighborhood, strutting his stuff on the sidewalk, but bring him back in here and it's back to taking cover. The Boxer Chatzi is a love. She is a cuddler like Allie. Allie has even been sharing her bed with her.

We heard today that we are still the only offer on the table for the house in TS. Also, that we should have an answer from the bank in 2 to 3 weeks if they will accept or deny our offer.

Yesterday was a very relaxing day, maybe too much so. I am not used to relaxing, not having anything to do. I was done with work at noon and basically had free time until bed time. Well, we are trying to save $ so we didn't want to spend any obviously. We ended up watching some movies. It was nice, but still strange and a little uncomfortable not knowing what to do with myself. Why is it that when I have a ton of things to do, all I wanna do is relax, but when I have nothing to do I try my hardest to find something to do?

Still no word from the vet clinic. :(

Let It Be

This place has seriously gone to the dogs. The neighbors came back yesterday so no more taking care of their 3 pups and 2 birds. Angel the Shih-Tzu left yesterday. BUT 2 more dogs came this morning for the next 17 days. One is maybe a Rupie/Chihuahua mix named Rex and the other is a Boxer named Chatzi. They are so cute. We love all the dog sitting we have been doing. Oh and bird sitting, sorry birds. Dad is probably less than thrilled, especially since Angel peed in his room yesterday, but so far he has been pretty cool about it. Not mad, but at the same time not happy, if ya know what I mean. Allie enjoys it I think. She is probably a little confused. Sean and I probably enjoy it the most since we luv animals much!

We went to the mall yesterday and walked around after work. Then we went to Faye's BD party at her house. I haven't seen her in ages. Good times.

The vet clinic never called yesterday. Lemme tell you how much anxiety that caused me. Yeah, I know, I am such a wimp. I worry about every little minuscule thing that it's absolutely ridiculous. No matter how many times I say that I will relax and not fret, I do any way. I am my own worst enemy! Any way, so I had a complete tantrum and cried lots and basically told Sean that God only wants our life to be average and that we are not allowed to have dreams granted. We will probably be 47, living at dad's, doing transcription still. That is what is in store for us and I just need to get used to it. Well, Sean took it personally that our marriage was just average. Did not mean that. Our marriage is spectacular. So long story long, he had a nice firm (but loving) talk with me and made me realize that I was being awfully stupid about the whole darn thing. This morning, Sean called them and they said they had been super busy and that someone would call. So, I will just leave it at that. I say a million times over all the things I will do and I never do them, but this time I am for real. I am just going to relax and hope for the best. If not, something else will come along. And if we are living with my father still in 20 years and I am still a medical transcriptionist, well then, that is where God wants us.

Here and Now, Not There and Later

We took Allie up to the brewery to get a bath again yesterday and had some lunch. This has become a new ritual for us. It is fun and I think Allie enjoys it. She especially did yesterday so she could get away from Angel for a bit! It is Allie's fault though. She does not stand up for herself. And when Angel does finally stop biting her legs, ears and face, then Allie starts rough housing with her. It is actually quite entertaining to watch! Angel gets 20 Cheerios every morning for breakfast. LOL!

That was about the extent of our day. I won't bore you with chores or other stuff that I did.

I know I am feeling better today. I can find room to forgive my dad. Also Sean. See I have resented him for "leaving" me when he went on deployment. I mean I know he did not choose to leave me, but b/c of my childhood issues with my father not being around and the fact that I have not had the best of relationships any ways with men, it felt like Sean too was leaving me when I needed him most. I am past it. Now we just gotta get rid of the deployment aftermath that has effected us for 3 years! I am over trying to control the job, finances, house situation too. No point in stressing and wasting days over this that could be filled with happiness and appreciation and gratitude for all the things we are blessed with. I pray these things we are working hard towards do become a reality and not just dreams, but if not I know there is a reason why God did not want them for us at this moment.

Sean and I had a long talk about all of this last night b/c we have been worrying so much over it, and we came to an agreement to let it go. This morning has been a HUGE improvement in our moods. Thank goodness for that. This is the day the Lord has made, let's rejoice and be glad in it.

Wild World

We had a really good day yesterday. Pet sitting is in full force right now. Not only are we watching the neighbors' dogs and birds, but we also have Angel the Shi Tzu at our house until tomorrow. Larry and Lucy (my dad's hairdressers) brought him (yes a boy dog named Angel) over yesterday. Oh yeah, and we have Allie still! :O)

Sean and I took bikes up to Tarpon yesterday and rode around for a few hours. We met some really nice people who would be our neighbors (literally) if we got the house. We enjoyed more exploring up there. We went to a hippie themed party at the Tarpon Winery for a bit. We did not dress up b/c we would have been hippies riding bikes beforehand and that woulda been silly.......and hot (temp wise not looks wise). Any way, they had good music, good food, good outfits, good wine, good folk. We returned home to care for the 5 dogs and 2 birds.

Church was especially good today. The message totally related to things going on with me. I have been having some issues with my father for, oh lets see....... since I was little. It has been hard to forgive him for my parents divorce (even though it was both of them, not just him) and his drinking. Also, the fact that he was never around really as I was growing up. Again, not all his fault. My mom and I lived in GA, him here. But either way, as a little girl growing up, it felt like he abandoned me. And when I did visit him on holidays and summertime, he was always drunk. It was very hard to deal with. He has been sober since I was in 11th grade. I am very proud of him for that. I know that he loves me and he has done so much for Sean and I over the past year and a half. I guess I am scared of him at times. Scared he doesn't like me as a person, scared he will leave me again, scared that he will make fun of me personally and for the things I choose to do in my life. I feel that he doesn't really accept me. He can be very critical and sarcastic. He has not come to see the house we want. I try to talk to him, he usually walks away going about his own things. I invite him to do new and different things, he declines. He is very routine and ritualistic. He gets angry when I don't have things exactly the way he likes them around the house.

I honestly am not here to complain or gossip or talk badly about my father. I respect him and I love him dearly. Him, my hubby and my mother are the 3 most important people in my life, who I would do anything for. I just realized today that I needed to get rid of all of this. Yes, what I should do is talk to my father, but I am not brave enough for that. I assume it would not go well, even though that is only an assumption. I feel that for now, I just need to forgive, I need to give it to the the Lord, pray about it and release it. I should choose to move on and concentrate on the here and now instead of looking backwards at things that I cannot change.

Maybe one day I can show him this entry. I don't know, but I do know that giving this away will do me a world of good and probably improve my relationship with dad immensely.

Cowboy Boots and Wranglers Jeans

I think that our working interviews went really well yesterday at the vet clinic. We both did a lot of cleaning and just interacted with the staff and they observed are skills and abilities. There is one other candidate besides the 2 of us. They said they got a ton of applications, but really only liked us and the other person, so I think we have a good chance. And they are hiring 2 people. We are praying it is us 2! We will find out Monday. Unfortunately they did not call yesterday.

I had alone time yesterday. I missed Sean, but I really did a lot of thinking and came to some much needed realizations about my inner self. Driving on alt 19, listening to Jimmy and just pondering things really is therapeutic. There's nothing like a scenic drive with my favorite tunes. I drove up to Tarpon and looked at the house again. Then I did some exploring to see more of the area. I feel so at home there and at peace. It kinda reminds me of St. Marys, GA (where Sean and I met) and that just makes me feel all excited inside. It is quiet and peaceful and not so busy. I have really come to realize that I am a country girl through and through. I would much rather have land and wide open space and tranquility, just the simple life that comes along with not being in a hectic stressed out city full of busy people living their busy lives trying to get somewhere, but never really getting anywhere. I fess, I still love some of the finer things in life from clothes to fancy restaurants and all that good stuff, but I guess I am more of a Target girl than an Gucci girl. I can see Sean and I in that home with our babies and the vet jobs and camping, and enjoying life in Tarpon, and peaceful evenings on the front porch and enjoying the beach and just being us. I'm thrilled! Now, I just have to endure patience!

I have denied for so long things that I thought made me happy that really don't. There are definitely some things that I need to change. I need to be active and around people. I have missed that for a really long time. Other things too, but nothing I can really type right here right now.

We signed the contract for the house. Now, we wait (again) for the bank to give us their yay or nay.

We have relaxed this morning for a change. We also went for a jog/walk with Allie and Lacy from next door. That was not relaxing b/c the dogs are crazy. I just made the hugest breakfast with eggs, steak, bread, cheese, OJ, yum!

Hillbilly Hettie signing off, y'all! HA!

Slippery Little Suckers

This is the last thing I will say about school.... well, at least until May 12th! I got a 92 on my lecture final, sooooo I ended up with a B in both lecture and lab! These were some dang hard courses so I am pretty pleased with myself. OK, enough of that.

Sean and I went Uniform City to buy our 1st set of scrubs and some shoes. Sean had to buy "girlish" shoes, which was rather funny, especially the pair that had blue hearts on the sides of them. I told him he could cover them up by placing some Harley Davidson stickers on them. I am not even sure if the blue heart pair are the ones he ended up buying or not, but either way I am laughing now and I was laughing then, too. I will get to laugh daily if we do get the jobs and he wears them everyday! Love it! Oh, and BTW, scrubs are the 2nd best invention man has made behind my beloved iPod. I think now I know why I picked the professions of vet tech and nursing! I would be more than happy to wear them 7 days a week! I would save money on my civi wardrobe, as well!

Next up!!!!!!............ I looked at snakes. In the pet store. For about 10 minutes. They were in cages. There were a lot of them. I stood in front of their cages. Granted, I had chill bumps and about 12 complete body shudders and I was very jumpy and hypervigilant, but I did it! I will continue doing it until I get over this fear. I think after I get my mani/pedi today I will go back and look at snakes again since the pet store is next to my nail salon. Wish me luck!!!

PS: Mama: How was the Death By Chocolate?