Thursday, June 26, 2008

Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda

My reactions and after reflection how I should have reacted:

1. Screw ups at work began early yesterday. I decide to get really down on myself, which leads to irritation and aggravation. I begin to wonder why I am making these silly mistakes when I have already learned the proper ways to carry out the various tasks. This puts me in a bad mood and it is only 9:30 (I arrived at 9). How I should have reacted: Learn from my mistakes and know that it is only my third week and things will get better and I am already a lot better off than my first day or first week for that matter. It takes time and practice. I will be good at this!
2. I then feel like the new girl, maybe cuz I am, but this leads to feeling left out. I feel like I am in middle school again and all the cool girls don't like the new girl and probably won't invite me to sit with them at the popular lunch table. This leads to me getting totally paranoid all day that my coworkers don't like me and are talking about me behind my back. How I should have reacted: Remind myself that these girls know each other really well and have worked together for a long time. The longer I am there, the more I too will fit in and build lasting friendships. I was even invited to go bowling on Sunday for Aimee's going away party. So I doubt they hate me and are talking badly about me.
3. Angry customers: I get upset and cry a little in the bathroom. Why are people so mean and unhappy? How I should have reacted: Smile, smile, smile, repeat, repeat, repeat.
4. Wake up this morning. I have the day off. I am making Sean's B-fast and lunch and then we are going to take Allie for a walk. I am grouchy, it is early and I feel that it would be better off if I was going to work too b/c Sean is and I don't wanna be alone all day. How I should have reacted: Happy that I have the day off b/c I got a lot to do today, happy that I am alive and God has given me the gift of another gorgeous day and thrilled that I am able to spend my morning outside on a walk with my loving hubby and my cutie-pie puppy dog.
5. I realize I forgot to pay Sean's car payment. It is 5:15 a.m. The payment is due on the 28th and today is the 26th. It was even written down in my little black book, but I only wrote "Mercedes" and for some reason I couldn't remember why I wrote that and figured it was a reminder to send off Sean's tag renewal, which I had already done so I just forgot about it......until this morning. The real kicker: I forgot last month too and they sent us a collections notice. We called them and sorted it out, claimed how we are never late with payments, they took off the late fee, yada, yada, yada. I tell Sean that I have forgotten again, one thing leads to another and we start arguing about it. On our walk. And it's only 5:30 a.m. Hmmm.......I have only been awake for 30 minutes! This day already sucks! How I should have reacted: The day is not totally ruined. We can call Amsouth and pay by phone, with a charge of course, but it is better than it being late. Remind myself how much Sean and I cherish our morning walks and how I shouldn't let a stupid bill ruin that. If we begin to see the signs of an argument we are supposed to pray, write in our journal and resume to being loving towards one another.
6. Kittens are meowing nonstop. Again, it is 5:15 a.m. They are hungry I know, but I am trying to get Sean's B-fast and lunch, go for a walk and get him in the shower so he can leave for work. I am annoyed that the cats won't shutup. Why are they so active now? Last weekend they were totally lethargic 24/7. Finally, after about an hour I go to feed them and they have pooped all in their carrier and it reeks. Oh joy! How I should have reacted: Yay! The kittens are meowing. That means they are still alive. And double yay- they are hungry. That means they are healthy. And they POOPED! I am so happy b/c that means they aren't constipated anymore.

Lord, can I get a do over pass please!!??


sbrewner said...

I think you were able to learn what God wanted you to learn yesterday. I know you will work harder with each success and failure. It just takes time to learn everything.

Hettie Brewner said...

Thanks babe! I appreciate that!