Thursday, April 2, 2009

My pregnancy

To see a pregnant woman who is not confirmed to a hospital bed makes me feel as if I have failed as a woman; my body can't handle the demands of pregnancy. I am not strong enough to carry a baby normally. I know that many women can't get pregnant, have to go to fertility clinics, etc., so I am truly thankful that God has blessed me and Sean with a baby (and getting prego on the first try at that!), but it is a weird feeling to see pregnant women doing normal things like walking, working, being out in public...... I am not able to, but God has me here for a reason, a specific purpose and I am OK and feel blessed about that.

4 comments:

Becca said...

Aww sweety you did nothing wrong at all...neither did your body. Sometimes these things just happen. I felt the exact same way when I found out I was diabetic but I had to realize that nothing I did caused it. Everything is in Gods control. As a new mom it is easy to feel guilty for 1001 different things...did I breastfeed enough, did I hold baby enough today, did I hurt baby, why don't I know what's wrong...etc etc...its hard but at the end of the day all that matters is that you do your best and love your child. You are doing exactly what your BABW needs now...being a sitting incubator...so keep up the good work because every day in there gets baby more and more ready to enter the world and meet mom and dad :)

Hettie Brewner said...

Thanks babe! I needed that and I know that it is all true; it's just sometimes my thoughts and feelings go other places, even though I know I shouldn't necessary be thinking or feeling that way - or at least I can think and feel them, but then see the other truer side.

Aawww, our BABW in the inkie! :O)

Becca said...

did i miss something.....what is the inkie!?

Hettie Brewner said...

Oh, Sean's nickname for me - inkie (incubator) :)